The Truckers Wife-Purple Days
I asked my wife Shawne if she would contribute to this blog and add her thoughts about being a truckers wife. Here is what she has written and plans to add more as she gets the thoughts put in words for you. Comment and ask questions, she will answer. She may send the answers and updates to me for posting, I do the technical aspect of the blog here.
Jim
You may ask her direct from the form here..
Comments or questions are welcome.
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I thought I might keep a log of my daily life as a Trucker’s Wife. Just jot down notes, thoughts, activities, etc- and see if there are others who might like to share their days, thoughts, activities, etc.
First off- we all agree, I’m sure, that a Trucker’s Wife’s Life is no picnic, but it’s not without it’s benefits either. Shall we start with the ‘no picnic’ part?
Sure- there are long days and nights, weeks, and months ( sometimes) when you’re alone and everything that can possibly go wrong does. It seems like nothing ever goes wrong the day or two before they come home, or during Hometime.. but the morning after the truck rolls out the driveway? Total Mayhem! And of course- you’re the only one that can fix it. You become a plumber, a carpenter, a painter, an exterminator, a mechanic, a landscaper, wood-splitter, wood stacker, a veterinarian, and in some cases a single parent. Fortunately my kids are grown and gone with families of their own now, so that’s one title I can’t claim. I can claim the rest of them though.
Growing up I learned there were Pink Tasks and Blue Tasks. The Pink Tasks were all the things women did, automatically and without question. That’s HER job, always has been, always will be, and totally accepted. The same was true of Blue Tasks. It was beyond comprehension that a Pink would do a Blue Task or vice-versa! In our World the Pinks and Blues blend into a Purple- which means we do all tasks and NOT doing them is now beyond comprehension. And we learn to do them well and without fear!
We learn to do holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, trips, vacations, sightseeing, dinners out, fishing, meals, sleeping, and shopping alone. I’m not sure about your Sweet Truck Driving Man but mine is out 6-8 weeks ( sometimes 12) at a time and when he comes home he doesn’t want to be in anything that’s moving, nor does he want to leave the house.
Another Purple job? arguing ( with the man who didn’t finish the septic tank job but wants to be paid), and many other circumstances when a woman has to really out do herself to be heard. And we’ve gotten good at all of the above mentioned plus many more of life’s every day details. Most days it’s normal life, and most days we do it with a smile, because we’re Trucker’s Wives and that’s what we do.
It’s time to feed the critters, set the sprinklers, change over the laundry and think about dinner so I’m gonna’ sign off for now. Next time we’ll talk about the Perks of being a TDW..(truck drivers wife) like cold Pizza for breakfast.
I’ll see you soon!
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I never stopped to think about what truck drivers go through; I’m usually just nervous about being next to them on a highway! Thanks for writing about this and opening my eyes to how tough it can be.
I’d love to talk more to other ‘trucker wives’. It’s really hard for me sometimes, I have 3 kids at home with me, and I work full-time so I lead the life of a single mom except with the extra income. I dont’ mind sometimes., I’m pretty independent, but it gets hard, sometimes I get soo lonely.
I am about to become new to the life of a truckers wife. I have 2 girls 7 and 9, I have been a singel mom up until 3 years ago so the being alone part Im kinda used to.. I love my husband he has been a deisel tech for 17 years and is just plain sick of working on them, so here goes our journy!!! we have plans of traveling together when the kids are out of school and maybe team driving much later on in life once the kids marry and are out on thier own.. this site has opened my eyes alot thank you I will be watching for more to come!!!
Jan 3, 2011
I’m not quite sure where I left off.. was it a pro? or a con?…hmmm
well anyway- Happy New Year to ALL you Truckers and Truckers Wives/Partners!
Things got a bit busy as I was headed into winter with some pretty serious sub-zero temperatures. Gotta’ get the wood up, the lawn tools put away, the machines prepped, and so on.. and hubby is whining about his air conditioner not working? when I have ice on the end of my nose?
On the bright side- he made it home for the holidays this year..HOORAY! and even got in a week early! and guess he’s staying two weeks longer! Now this can be a good thing- seriously! He gets to haul wood, load the stove, shovel the snow, carry out the garbage, keep the fire going, etc etc etc..all the fun he misses out on when he’s down south in the sun every winter. AND he’s been here long enough now to remember where we keep the kitchen! I have to say he’s doing a very good job of not only finding things ( like the refrigerator- lol) but actually putting things back where they belong! If he ever plans to retire he is going to need to know these things..
Seriously- it’s great when they get to come home for awhile! Not the 4 days, or maybe 10 days, but for a whole month?? It kind of gives you a chance to be normal for a change! Stay up late, sleep late, take naps, go out to dinner with friends, watch a movie with home-made popcorn! yeah Buddy! AND get a home-project or two done! But the absolute best part is knowing when you fall asleep, and when you wake up- for at least a month, your Best Friend is going to be right there next to you.
That’s the Pro side.. I wouldn’t be being fair if I didn’t mention the Con side..( she said chuckling!)
A month at home means alot more mess to pick up, alot more cooking and dirty dishes. Some nights I’m perfectly happy with a can of peas ( with butter, of course) , or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This doesn’t seem to work to well for him. Also- he’s not really receptive to the cold pizza for breakfast……. seems he eats alot of Flying J Pizza. I’m 50 miles– one way (literally) to the nearest fast-food, so that’s kind of a bonus for me… you can see where I’m going with this..
I’m also home all the time so I’m thinking when He gets home we’ll go do stuff! Wrong.. he doesn’t want to be in anything that’s moving- and I can’t blame him for that…
And a month at home means He’s always trying to show you how to do what you’ve already been doing for a decade. A decade that has worked just fine! However do we survive the 42 weeks a year without them? And maybe- just maybe- when they come home for a month- they could do OUR jobs!
Nevermind- block that thought- it would take another decade to restore order after they went back out on the road!!!
With ALL the pro’s and con’s– I can tell you one of my most favorite moments is early morning, when I’m making his first pot of coffee, and looking out my kitchen window. We live in a picture postcard- in a remote area of NW Montana. A place most beautiful and tranquil, and wild. A place we wouldn’t be able to live if it wasn’t for my Sweet Truck Driving Man. To be able to look out my window in the morning, maybe see a deer, an elk, or even a moose on the other side of that big purple semi in the driveway, and the sound of my Bonehead snoring away upstairs? Well…. life doesn’t get any better than that!
Our “Truckers” are the Backbone of America… and I hate to think of what our lives would be like without them!
So from our Trucking home to all of you– we wish you a very happy, very SAFE, and very prosperous new year! and many Purple Daze to come…
Keep on Truckin’ Mama, Truckin’ my Blues Away…
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays whatever yours may be, and a very Happy New Year…
Jim & Shawne Hudson
Hi:
I’m researching a story on big rig recovery people, could include repo. I am very interested in husband and wife teams.
Thanks,
Ted Woerner
310-266-6305
Shawne,
I have been a truckers wife playing the “Color Purple” role for the better part of ten years or so. I am a mother of six children. I have two left at home. I think one of the cons for me is taking our youngest to all the specialist that he goes to by myself and then relaying the bad news over the phone to my truck driving husband. I know he has alot to deal with out there on the road and I know he hates “watching” the kids grow up over the phone. I know he does what he does for our family, I also know if he could be with me he would. The pro’s on the other hand far out way the con’s. Watching him interact with the kids and gran-kids when he’s home or that look that he gives you, that lets you know he loves you with all that he is. In all the “Color Purple” isnt all that bad. Keep on trucking, and come home safe!
Crystal,Middleburg FL
My fiancee is just finishing traing and it has been hard on both of use. I need people that I can talk to and that can give advise on how to deal so as not to constantly lay all my woes on himwhen he calls. I want to be supportive and let him know that he is loved and missed and I’m waiting for him and want him to not feel overwhelmed. i want his mind on that road and gettin back to me as soon as possible!
so please I need buddies and loads of advise I hear the first year is the hardest but i love him that I’m willing to take what ever time I get with him.
Thanks for listening